Journey to a New Life

 This blog is a continuation to Day 06: My Body is not My Own

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to experiencing nausea within a negative energetic charge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my physical experience as nausea and stomach sensitivity determine my mood / inner experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have perpetuated the unpleasant experience of nausea, tiredness and stomach sensitivity by adding a mental layer of unpleasantness unto it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the nausea and stomach sensitivity within going into a down mode of ‘oh no, not again’ and worrying about my schedule instead of simply breathing and being here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my reduced capacity as a limitation in a negative sense – wherein I see that for a moment I am not able to do things as I used to do them and require to slow down, but give this a negative connotation and feel bad about myself instead of simply acknowledging the new situation and adapting without interpreting the situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a negative experience of ‘I don’t have a choice in my own body’ – where things are changing and my body is changing and all I can do is ‘go with it’ – not seeing and realizing that I never really had any sort of real ‘choice’ in relation to myself and my body, as clearly there are certain things my body requires to do and certain things I require to do to sustain my body within which I have no choice whatsoever lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I previously had ‘choice’ within my body as the limited choice of ‘being able to eat a variety of things’ and ‘not feeling nausea’ – not seeing and realizing that these points of ‘choice’ are miniscule as I don’t have any choice in breathing, eating, drinking, peeing, pooing – and it is not like I go and feel ‘bad’ about myself each time I have to go to the toilet as a reminder that ‘I don’t have any free choice’ in relation to my body lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dramatize my situation within feeling ‘useless’ not seeing and realizing that nothing has changed all that much and that I am still very much capable of doing my regular things and that it is just a matter of adjusting to a changing situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘less’ when I am able to do ‘less’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined my self-worth and self-appreciation in terms of ‘how much I can do’, where the ‘more’ is ‘better’ – coming from a whole association of ‘productivity’ as being part of a ‘work force’ and having to be a ‘good worker’ so I can ‘survive’ in the system

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to drop this self-imposed limitation and value and appreciate myself as Life