Monday, January 20, 2014

Day 31: Parenting Dogmas

In my previous blog I ended off with saying that I would be writing about the sleeping aspect of babyhood and my body’s sensitivity to mind activity. But first, I would like to make a side-note on a point of much debate which is ‘breastfeeding vs. formula-feeding’.

My previous post was about breastfeeding and my experience with breastfeeding but this should in no way be interpreted in me advocating breastfeeding in contrast to formula-feeding.

Both have their strong points and depending on what situation you find yourself in the one might be a better option than the other. I am in a position where I can and want to breastfeed but I easily could have been in a position where I would have formula fed – it all depends on the context/situation you find yourself in.

In parenting circles there tends to be a strong conviction towards ‘doing everything natural’ (eg. Natural birth, breastfeeding). If you don’t follow this ‘natural’-doctrine you are made to feel like you have failed not only as a mother but as a woman in general. For me breastfeeding was painful in the beginning and then got better, but for some people it doesn’t get better. If I had stayed in pain I would have switched to formula feeding because there’s just no point to compromise yourself to that extent simply so you can keep yourself in alignment with your idea of ‘being natural’. You’d then easily secretly start resenting breastfeeding and back chat about it and every time you feed your child that’s exactly what the child will be picking up on. Not only are you then poisoning yourself with backchat but you will resonantly alter your breast milk which will then adversely affect your baby. In your mission to ‘do good’ you end up accomplishing the reverse. [For more perspective on this point, I suggest listening to Mind, Body and Food – Quantum Systemization] Having and taking care of a baby is a drastic change to one’s life and adapting to this change does not always come easy. To insist to someone who is for example going through post-natal depression to breastfeed the baby, can push them deeper down the deep end. When you opt for formula-feeding, feeding is not tied to the mother exclusively but anyone can feed the baby and thus assist in taking care of the baby. In the beginning a feeding schedule of a newborn baby can be really hectic with little space for resting. It would then make more sense to formula feed as you can spread the load and the baby will not feed as frequently since formula is digested slower. This would then allow more space for the mother to adjust and if she wishes she can always take up breastfeeding later or do a combination for the two or stick to formula. But since the mother is mostly the primary caretaker of the baby, it is of utmost importance that the mother is stable. Insisting on breastfeeding because “it’s best for the baby” while driving a mother mad – is not in the best interest of the baby. It’s only in the best interest of sustaining your conviction.

I for instance opted for a C-section and breastfeeding – and when this was shared with people (especially nurses and doctors), I got a lot of strange looks and faces. They thought it was weird that I had opted for an ‘unnatural birth’ while opting for ‘natural feeding’. As if you either do natural birth and breastfeeding or c-section and formula-feeding. You’re either a ‘natural mom’ or an ‘unnatural mom’. I mean, that’s like a really black and white view on childrearing and parenting.

So that’s just something I wanted to share – it’s not about ‘which one is right’ or ‘which one is wrong’, but for each person to assess in self-honesty what would be best considering both the baby and the mother.

Since my ‘sidenote’ turned out rather lengthy, I will leave this as a blog on its own and continue with my story in the next post.
Enhanced by Zemanta

Like us on Facebook

Powered by Blogger.

Follow by Email

Popular Posts

Tags

6 month old abstract acceptance acid acid reflux actions adult advantage advertisement advice africa allopathic ancestry Android anger management angry animal kingdom animals annabrixthomsen anticipation anxiety anxious apathy apgar score application approval art of motherhood asset association associations attention atypical authority awareness babies baby baby blues baby economicus baby won't sleep baby. child babyblues backchat bad bad news ball barriers basic income becoming like my mother behavior Belgium belief beliefs bernardpoolman best for all best friend best intentions betrayal bi bias big biology birds birth birthing bleeding blogging body books bpm brainwashing break break down breastfeeding breastmilk build trust burden burnout c-section caesarean section calm down camp cannot change care cats cause cesar change changing character characteristics child child development Child support Childbirth childhood children chill choice choices choke choking christmas city city life class cleaning clone co-sleeping cold colic commitment comparison competition compromise concern concerned conditioning conflict connotation conscious consequence consequences consumerism control cooperation copy copy paste cracked cravings crazy cream Creation creativity creator crisis criticism crossing over Crucifixion of Jesus cruel crying crying emotional cultural differences culture cure curiosity dairy debt decision declaration define definition delusion demanding dependent depression design desire desteni desteni farm development developmental milestones diaper change diaper changing diapering digestive system dimensions DIP direction dirt disasppointment discipline discomfort discontent disgust disruptive distract distraction disturbance doctor doctors dogma dogs dream driving me nuts dues duty eagle Earth echo education emergency emotional well-being energy enjoyment enrichment eqafe eqaulmoney equality equalmoney europe example exams excuse excuses exhausted exhaustion expand expansion expect expecting expensive Experience explore expression failed failure fairness fairytail Family family life fantasy Farm farm life father fatherhood fear fear of making mistake Fear of Missing Out feeding feel good female ego Fetus fight financial security first time mother flashback Fomo forced Forgiveness formality formula foster free time freedom frequent frustrated frustration fun fussy future gender genealogy generation generations genious gerd germs gift gifts gifts from animals giving up going crazy google grounding grow growing growth guidance happy hard hate healing Health heart beat heaven heaven on earth help help me helping hide high tech history holding back holistic living hollywood Home home environment homeopathy homeschooling hormones Horse horses hospital howard zinn Human Human breast milk human nature human rights humanity hunger games husband hygiene hyperactive hypocrite icequeen ideas ignorant illness illusion immunization impossible inconvenient incubator inductive control indulgence industry inequality inexperienced Infant Infant formula information innate innocence insane insecure insight insights instruction integration integrity intelligence intelligent design intense internalize internet intimacy investigate iPhone irritable isolated jealousy job joints journey justification justifications kid know it all knowledge labour language latch late Learning lessons lie life life coaching life lessons lifestyle lig ligaments limitation limitations lineage little mermaid live for children live through children living for others living income guaranteed living through others living words log magic make the best mama manipulation media medicine memories mercola milk mind mind consciousness system mistake moment to moment money morality morning sickness mother mother earth mother matrix motherhood motherhood paranoia movies must mysophobia naked naps National Vaccine Information Center natural Natural Horsemanship natural learning ability nature nausea negative new new baby new mother newborn news night change night feeds no choice no questions no time noam chomsky noise non-stop normal not fair nursing nurturing ob gyn obedience obey offspring omniscient on the go oneness opinions osho pain palevsky paranoia paraphernalia parennting parent parental leave parenthood parenting Parenting & Fairness parents parrots past pattern people's history of the united states perception perfection periods persist pets physical Physical body picture perfect play playful playfulness playground point poison positive positive parenting positive thinking postnatal postpartum postpartum depression postponement potential powder Practical Parenting preconceived ideas pregancy pregnancy pregnant pride principle principled parenting prison privileges probiotics problem process procreation products programming psychology puke purification purity purpose quantum quantum mind race rage rat react reaction reactions reading reality realtime reason record redefining words reflection reflux regret relationship relationships relax relaxin remove repulsed research resent resist resistance resonance respect responsibility rest reward Rhythm right righteousness risk role sand sandpit santa claus scan school screaming screeching seed self appreciation self control self defeat self development self forgiveness self growth self improvement self interest self limitation self limitations self love Self Pity self-change self-empowerment self-expression self-forgiveness self-growth self-help self-honesty self-improvement selfish sensitive separation anxiety settle sex sexuality shame shock siblings signs silent reflux simplicity sins of fathers sleep sleeping sleepless nights slow life smile solution soothe soothing South Africa speech spit up stay at home mom stigmas stomach stress struggle stubborn style subconscious sucks sucks ass suffering suit sunettespies support surgery survival Survivalism survivor swear sweets system taboo take back tame tantrum tantrums teaching teamlife teamlikfe teething Tempo testing kit thinking Thought thoughts throw up time time off tired tiredness toddler toddlerhood toddlers too much torture tough toxic toy toys trade transformation trauma travel travelling treatment treats trust truth tv typical ultra sound unchangeable unconscious unexpected unfair unicorn unnatural unpleasant unstable untruth upbringing update useleless useless utmost potential Vaccination value values veno violation virtual vocabulary vomit vomiting walking example want wanting to be right weak digestive system weight what is it like to have a baby whine whining who you are why wife wild winged word definition words work working mom worry worth writing wrong

Followers

Subscribe and Follow

recent posts

Follow on Bloglovin

footer social

Heaven's journey to life
Heaven's journey to life
Creation's journey to life
Earth
Earth
Instagram

SUBSCRIBE

SUBSCRIBE

Instagram