Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Day 57: Who Is My Child? Expansion | Principled Parenting


I was asked a question in relation to my previous blog, specifically in relation to this part:

“Children are not supposed to be possessions, they are gifts. They are gifts with an immense amount of responsibility attached to them.”

The question was: How does a child ‘being a gift’ and ‘being a parents’ creation’ fit together?

These two points are seemingly at odds with each other; because if a child is a given then the role as parent is limited, but if the child is a creation then the role of the parent is grand.

Yet, these two points need not be at odds with each other, when they refer to different dimensions/aspects of what is involved in caring and raising a child.

So let’s expand on each dimension in isolation first, and then bring them together:

A Child is a Gift

In my previous blog I wrote:

“The child is a person on his own. He or she is a life-form, which came through you, but is not owned by you. Every child has his or her own unique expression, and that expression will differ from your own and other members of the family. Your child as a life-form happened to have come through within your family-setting, but could have sprouted up anywhere else just the same.”

Within having a child, you are the receiver of life, the receiver of life in the form of a child / another human being. The life that is here as your child is not something you created, this life/life-force was already here – but is now taking on a different form. So when you are pregnant and have a child, yes your body creates another body and bring together and creates from itself all the substances/material to make another individual body possible, as the form in which this life will manifest itself. But even here, ‘you’ as that part of yourself that you are aware of; is not involved in its creation – your body did all the work and ‘you’ as that of yourself which you are aware of was simply a bystander in the whole process and did not contribute anything (for more on this, see Day 26: How are Babies Created?).

So within that, your child as life is a ‘gift’ given to you, a piece of life being shared with you for a moment (in the scope of the enternity of life) , for you to have the opportunity be a custodian of another form of life other than yourself. But your child as life is part of the totality of life that is here, it was not 'created' by you.

A Child is a Creation

A child is not only life, it is also a person. Part of being a person, is having been born with a clean slate (if we leave out the unconscious and DNA programming) that is ready to be written on, ready to be instructed. Through the inputs parents provide to their children, an equal and one output is created as the character of the child. This input consists of in-form-ation; which forms and shapes the child. From that perspective, the child is a creation – because its personhood is dependent on what instruction it receives from its environment. And this personhood, is an intrinsic part of being a human being, and will determine the child's relationship with and towards life, and thus towards him/herself.


So when we bring the two points together, we see that a child is a gift in the child being life – and the child is a creation in being a form – and so your child is a = life-form.

The two points do not need to exclude one another as they refer to two different dimensions/aspects of a singular manifestation.

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