Friday, November 7, 2014
Day 59: Redefining ‘Mother’ – Living Simplicity | Principled Parenting
In my previous blog I described some points I faced with the idea of
‘becoming a mother’, where I was lacking trust within myself which moved
me to look for ‘what to do’ and ‘how to be’ within the information and
knowledge I had acquired over my life on the topic of ‘being a mother’.
What was quite fascinating was that most of the inner conflict and friction which played out inside myself, took place predominantly while I was pregnant and not yet a mother in fact – where I was still busy entering the ‘unknown’ and would allow myself to get swept away by little nagging fears which would present themselves here and there. Then – when I had my baby and looking back in retrospect: most of the points I had been fussing about inside myself simply disappeared. Turned out that ‘being a mother’ and ‘thinking what it’s like to be a mother’ are worlds apart (surprise! Lol).
While I had carried much anxiety about the new role I would be taking on – actually living it was a down to earth process, simply walking things moment by moment. Assessing new points, new directions as they come up – always referencing back to my principles, cross-referencing with others: basically walking the mother process as I would walk any other point or project.
It keeps astonishing me how much value and credit we tend to give to the thoughts, imaginations, ideas and projections that come circling inside our head. When I was in that state – it felt ‘so real’ so ‘convincing’ all these worries, thoughts – they must be valid! They must be relevant! But then when you get to the actual physical living of a point or process, they just go *poof*. Makes you wonder what else in your reality you’re investing credence into that’s just waiting to get caught out and disappear.
If I look at the amount of information I was holding unto and what I perceived ‘being a mother’ to be – it was a mountain of stuff and if you looked up you couldn’t see the end of it. Then, the actual walking, what it actually entails – the simplicity of what you’re actually working with = you can hold it in the palm of your hand.
We tend to bring and haul in so many issues when we look at what it means to parent, to being a mother – as we’re very good at making things complicated and valuing things which are of little relevance. For that, it can be helpful to look at nature and how nature/the animals express parenting/being a mother. Animals don’t share our weakness for making things complicated and creating attachments where none are required. So when we look at nature / the animal kingdom and the general (with the emphasis on general because some animals’ parenting could use some serious upgrading, like the geese we have on our farm) trend of how ‘being a mother’ is expressed – it is actually a very simple point:
You have an animal who gave birth to another animal/being and who nurtures/looks out for the animal until the animal can take that role unto itself and then that’s that. And here, even the ‘birthing’ part is optional in the animal kingdom (as some animals raise other animals their young albeit knowing or unknowingly).
One lioness is not going to be bothered worrying about what any other lionesses thinks of her parenting or how she looks as a mother or how her cubs look/act compared to other cubs, she doesn't go off gossiping with other lionesses or whatever other weird things we humans entertain and preoccupy ourselves with.
Now, in terms of humans and walking your Journey to Life – it’s just a matter of taking this elementary point and placing it within the context of what is Best for All so that you as a mother take it upon yourself to guide, nurture and direct your child so he/she may achieve its utmost potential in all dimensions (eg. physically and in one’s character/expression).
Once you have integrated this definition as your baseline, as what you are living by within being ‘a mother’ – it’s just a matter of living and walking day by day, moment by moment – and checking that whenever a decision/direction arises, that your course of action/decisions matches your commitment of living the word ‘mother’. And you simply check: if I do this, am I in anyway compromising my child? Is there another way? Is there a better way? Am I adhering to an idea/belief/value inside my head or am I taking into consideration physical reality / what will actually empower/support my child?
And as you go along, you may make mistakes, you may find that there was a different way, a better way, you may find you acted according to a belief that you weren’t aware of, … -- and so you specify yourself and improve your way of seeing/looking at things and perfect your skills of supporting another being as yourself. But the one point which is paramount, is to in every moment check and cross-reference your course of actions/decisions within yourself, within your own self-honesty. To have that relationship of engagement with yourself where you check every point to ensure that you are in fact parenting in awareness, that you are in fact in every moment being the directive principle, that you have in fact checked the foundation of your decision and that you can stand by it – to not leave a moment up to ‘automated parenting’ where you’re just acting and directing things from a starting point of ‘what you think’ you should be doing, where you haven’t actually investigated the basis of what you are doing or merely acting/playing out a pattern not really knowing why or how you could improve it. These are the ‘danger traps’, where if you leave the directive seat within yourself for a moment, and kind of ‘sit back and relax’ within yourself and act/live/guide according to how you feel, how you are experiencing yourself and the things that pop-up in your head: those are the moments where you are stunting your own self-expansion, your own potential and directly stunt and diminish your child’s self-development and expression. And this is about the 'hardest' part of being a parent - to keep pushing and moving yourself to be in the directive seat, to move and live in awareness - to make that decision to live and create a reality for yourself where you're the one checking and directing things, and to move and keep your feet out of the mind's reality: over and over again until one day there is only one reality as the one where you're constantly in awareness and the directive principle in every single moment.
What was quite fascinating was that most of the inner conflict and friction which played out inside myself, took place predominantly while I was pregnant and not yet a mother in fact – where I was still busy entering the ‘unknown’ and would allow myself to get swept away by little nagging fears which would present themselves here and there. Then – when I had my baby and looking back in retrospect: most of the points I had been fussing about inside myself simply disappeared. Turned out that ‘being a mother’ and ‘thinking what it’s like to be a mother’ are worlds apart (surprise! Lol).
While I had carried much anxiety about the new role I would be taking on – actually living it was a down to earth process, simply walking things moment by moment. Assessing new points, new directions as they come up – always referencing back to my principles, cross-referencing with others: basically walking the mother process as I would walk any other point or project.
It keeps astonishing me how much value and credit we tend to give to the thoughts, imaginations, ideas and projections that come circling inside our head. When I was in that state – it felt ‘so real’ so ‘convincing’ all these worries, thoughts – they must be valid! They must be relevant! But then when you get to the actual physical living of a point or process, they just go *poof*. Makes you wonder what else in your reality you’re investing credence into that’s just waiting to get caught out and disappear.
If I look at the amount of information I was holding unto and what I perceived ‘being a mother’ to be – it was a mountain of stuff and if you looked up you couldn’t see the end of it. Then, the actual walking, what it actually entails – the simplicity of what you’re actually working with = you can hold it in the palm of your hand.
We tend to bring and haul in so many issues when we look at what it means to parent, to being a mother – as we’re very good at making things complicated and valuing things which are of little relevance. For that, it can be helpful to look at nature and how nature/the animals express parenting/being a mother. Animals don’t share our weakness for making things complicated and creating attachments where none are required. So when we look at nature / the animal kingdom and the general (with the emphasis on general because some animals’ parenting could use some serious upgrading, like the geese we have on our farm) trend of how ‘being a mother’ is expressed – it is actually a very simple point:
You have an animal who gave birth to another animal/being and who nurtures/looks out for the animal until the animal can take that role unto itself and then that’s that. And here, even the ‘birthing’ part is optional in the animal kingdom (as some animals raise other animals their young albeit knowing or unknowingly).
One lioness is not going to be bothered worrying about what any other lionesses thinks of her parenting or how she looks as a mother or how her cubs look/act compared to other cubs, she doesn't go off gossiping with other lionesses or whatever other weird things we humans entertain and preoccupy ourselves with.
Now, in terms of humans and walking your Journey to Life – it’s just a matter of taking this elementary point and placing it within the context of what is Best for All so that you as a mother take it upon yourself to guide, nurture and direct your child so he/she may achieve its utmost potential in all dimensions (eg. physically and in one’s character/expression).
Once you have integrated this definition as your baseline, as what you are living by within being ‘a mother’ – it’s just a matter of living and walking day by day, moment by moment – and checking that whenever a decision/direction arises, that your course of action/decisions matches your commitment of living the word ‘mother’. And you simply check: if I do this, am I in anyway compromising my child? Is there another way? Is there a better way? Am I adhering to an idea/belief/value inside my head or am I taking into consideration physical reality / what will actually empower/support my child?
And as you go along, you may make mistakes, you may find that there was a different way, a better way, you may find you acted according to a belief that you weren’t aware of, … -- and so you specify yourself and improve your way of seeing/looking at things and perfect your skills of supporting another being as yourself. But the one point which is paramount, is to in every moment check and cross-reference your course of actions/decisions within yourself, within your own self-honesty. To have that relationship of engagement with yourself where you check every point to ensure that you are in fact parenting in awareness, that you are in fact in every moment being the directive principle, that you have in fact checked the foundation of your decision and that you can stand by it – to not leave a moment up to ‘automated parenting’ where you’re just acting and directing things from a starting point of ‘what you think’ you should be doing, where you haven’t actually investigated the basis of what you are doing or merely acting/playing out a pattern not really knowing why or how you could improve it. These are the ‘danger traps’, where if you leave the directive seat within yourself for a moment, and kind of ‘sit back and relax’ within yourself and act/live/guide according to how you feel, how you are experiencing yourself and the things that pop-up in your head: those are the moments where you are stunting your own self-expansion, your own potential and directly stunt and diminish your child’s self-development and expression. And this is about the 'hardest' part of being a parent - to keep pushing and moving yourself to be in the directive seat, to move and live in awareness - to make that decision to live and create a reality for yourself where you're the one checking and directing things, and to move and keep your feet out of the mind's reality: over and over again until one day there is only one reality as the one where you're constantly in awareness and the directive principle in every single moment.
Labels:animal kingdom,animals,awareness,bernardpoolman,child,desteni,eqafe,life,living words,mind,mother,mother earth,nature,principled parenting,redefining words,simplicity,teamlife
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(Atom)
Powered by Blogger.
Popular Posts
-
I was reading in some of the pregnancy/baby magazines that I have and it struck me how many females who read the magazines and send in thei...
-
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone into a negative energetically charged experience when seeing the p...
-
Another dimension which I would like to open up in relation to my previous blog Day 69: Introducing Toys & Expansive Play, is that o...
-
Lately I have not been feeling as nauseous. Where I used to feel mildly nauseous all throughout the day, I’m now mostly normal during ...
Tags
6 month old
abstract
acceptance
acid
acid reflux
actions
adult
advantage
advertisement
advice
africa
allopathic
ancestry
Android
anger management
angry
animal kingdom
animals
annabrixthomsen
anticipation
anxiety
anxious
apathy
apgar score
application
approval
art of motherhood
asset
association
associations
attention
atypical
authority
awareness
babies
baby
baby blues
baby economicus
baby won't sleep
baby. child
babyblues
backchat
bad
bad news
ball
barriers
basic income
becoming like my mother
behavior
Belgium
belief
beliefs
bernardpoolman
best for all
best friend
best intentions
betrayal
bi
bias
big
biology
birds
birth
birthing
bleeding
blogging
body
books
bpm
brainwashing
break
break down
breastfeeding
breastmilk
build trust
burden
burnout
c-section
caesarean section
calm down
camp
cannot change
care
cats
cause
cesar
change
changing
character
characteristics
child
child development
Child support
Childbirth
childhood
children
chill
choice
choices
choke
choking
christmas
city
city life
class
cleaning
clone
co-sleeping
cold
colic
commitment
comparison
competition
compromise
concern
concerned
conditioning
conflict
connotation
conscious
consequence
consequences
consumerism
control
cooperation
copy
copy paste
cracked
cravings
crazy
cream
Creation
creativity
creator
crisis
criticism
crossing over
Crucifixion of Jesus
cruel
crying
crying emotional
cultural differences
culture
cure
curiosity
dairy
debt
decision
declaration
define
definition
delusion
demanding
dependent
depression
design
desire
desteni
desteni farm
development
developmental milestones
diaper change
diaper changing
diapering
digestive system
dimensions
DIP
direction
dirt
disasppointment
discipline
discomfort
discontent
disgust
disruptive
distract
distraction
disturbance
doctor
doctors
dogma
dogs
dream
driving me nuts
dues
duty
eagle
Earth
echo
education
emergency
emotional well-being
energy
enjoyment
enrichment
eqafe
eqaulmoney
equality
equalmoney
europe
example
exams
excuse
excuses
exhausted
exhaustion
expand
expansion
expect
expecting
expensive
Experience
explore
expression
failed
failure
fairness
fairytail
Family
family life
fantasy
Farm
farm life
father
fatherhood
fear
fear of making mistake
Fear of Missing Out
feeding
feel good
female ego
Fetus
fight
financial security
first time mother
flashback
Fomo
forced
Forgiveness
formality
formula
foster
free time
freedom
frequent
frustrated
frustration
fun
fussy
future
gender
genealogy
generation
generations
genious
gerd
germs
gift
gifts
gifts from animals
giving up
going crazy
google
grounding
grow
growing
growth
guidance
happy
hard
hate
healing
Health
heart beat
heaven
heaven on earth
help
help me
helping
hide
high tech
history
holding back
holistic living
hollywood
Home
home environment
homeopathy
homeschooling
hormones
Horse
horses
hospital
howard zinn
Human
Human breast milk
human nature
human rights
humanity
hunger games
husband
hygiene
hyperactive
hypocrite
icequeen
ideas
ignorant
illness
illusion
immunization
impossible
inconvenient
incubator
inductive control
indulgence
industry
inequality
inexperienced
Infant
Infant formula
information
innate
innocence
insane
insecure
insight
insights
instruction
integration
integrity
intelligence
intelligent design
intense
internalize
internet
intimacy
investigate
iPhone
irritable
isolated
jealousy
job
joints
journey
justification
justifications
kid
know it all
knowledge
labour
language
latch
late
Learning
lessons
lie
life
life coaching
life lessons
lifestyle
lig
ligaments
limitation
limitations
lineage
little mermaid
live for children
live through children
living for others
living income guaranteed
living through others
living words
log
magic
make the best
mama
manipulation
media
medicine
memories
mercola
milk
mind
mind consciousness system
mistake
moment to moment
money
morality
morning sickness
mother
mother earth
mother matrix
motherhood
motherhood paranoia
movies
must
mysophobia
naked
naps
National Vaccine Information Center
natural
Natural Horsemanship
natural learning ability
nature
nausea
negative
new
new baby
new mother
newborn
news
night change
night feeds
no choice
no questions
no time
noam chomsky
noise
non-stop
normal
not fair
nursing
nurturing
ob gyn
obedience
obey
offspring
omniscient
on the go
oneness
opinions
osho
pain
palevsky
paranoia
paraphernalia
parennting
parent
parental leave
parenthood
parenting
Parenting & Fairness
parents
parrots
past
pattern
people's history of the united states
perception
perfection
periods
persist
pets
physical
Physical body
picture perfect
play
playful
playfulness
playground
point
poison
positive
positive parenting
positive thinking
postnatal
postpartum
postpartum depression
postponement
potential
powder
Practical Parenting
preconceived ideas
pregancy
pregnancy
pregnant
pride
principle
principled parenting
prison
privileges
probiotics
problem
process
procreation
products
programming
psychology
puke
purification
purity
purpose
quantum
quantum mind
race
rage
rat
react
reaction
reactions
reading
reality
realtime
reason
record
redefining words
reflection
reflux
regret
relationship
relationships
relax
relaxin
remove
repulsed
research
resent
resist
resistance
resonance
respect
responsibility
rest
reward
Rhythm
right
righteousness
risk
role
sand
sandpit
santa claus
scan
school
screaming
screeching
seed
self appreciation
self control
self defeat
self development
self forgiveness
self growth
self improvement
self interest
self limitation
self limitations
self love
Self Pity
self-change
self-empowerment
self-expression
self-forgiveness
self-growth
self-help
self-honesty
self-improvement
selfish
sensitive
separation anxiety
settle
sex
sexuality
shame
shock
siblings
signs
silent reflux
simplicity
sins of fathers
sleep
sleeping
sleepless nights
slow life
smile
solution
soothe
soothing
South Africa
speech
spit up
stay at home mom
stigmas
stomach
stress
struggle
stubborn
style
subconscious
sucks
sucks ass
suffering
suit
sunettespies
support
surgery
survival
Survivalism
survivor
swear
sweets
system
taboo
take back
tame
tantrum
tantrums
teaching
teamlife
teamlikfe
teething
Tempo
testing kit
thinking
Thought
thoughts
throw up
time
time off
tired
tiredness
toddler
toddlerhood
toddlers
too much
torture
tough
toxic
toy
toys
trade
transformation
trauma
travel
travelling
treatment
treats
trust
truth
tv
typical
ultra sound
unchangeable
unconscious
unexpected
unfair
unicorn
unnatural
unpleasant
unstable
untruth
upbringing
update
useleless
useless
utmost potential
Vaccination
value
values
veno
violation
virtual
vocabulary
vomit
vomiting
walking example
want
wanting to be right
weak digestive system
weight
what is it like to have a baby
whine
whining
who you are
why
wife
wild
winged
word definition
words
work
working mom
worry
worth
writing
wrong
0 comments:
Post a Comment