Journey to a New Life

Lately I have not been feeling as nauseous. Where I used to feel mildly nauseous all throughout the day, I’m now mostly normal during the day except for my stomach getting very upset early mornings and in the late evenings. If I turn out to eat ‘ok’ stuff during those times my days are pretty cool – but if I don’t, then I end up vomiting during those times and then my stomach ends up feeling not so nice for a while after that. Those times are not so great because then I am reeeaally hungry but then I know that whatever I will eat will just come out again and hurt my stomach.

What else have I noticed….

Oh, I haven’t been able to handle hot weather as well I used to. I get hotter quicker and if it’s really hot and sunny I start feeling sick after a short while.

Some activities are also more intense. Like, trimming Charlie’s hooves used to be hard work but that was it. Now it’s hard work and it has become cardio, where soon after I start my heart starts beating faster and I start sweating quicker.

Can’t say that I am not looking forward towards the 12 week benchmark after which the morning sickness is supposed to subside.

Being pregnant really puts ‘pregnancy’ into a whole new perspective lol. It takes a lot to make someone new. I can’t believe that my own mom went through this process 3 times!!

I’m now also reading less on pregnancy and birth because it also just makes me feel more nauseous lol. Most of the magazines are on the one side full about the dangers of pregnancy and birth and then on the other side they are trying to ‘keep you positive’ and ‘look at the bright side of things’ and then bombard you with baby related advertisement of stuff so you can distract and entertain yourself with all the ‘fun stuff’ you can buy once you have a baby, so you can for a moment forget about the harsh reality of pregnancy and giving birth.

I mostly just keep to this one book I bought myself, which lays out the pregnancy process week by week and isn’t trying to scare you one page and then trying to make you happy on the other. It just gives you the info in a very sober matter and that’s that.

There’s also like a whole cultish vibe around the whole pregnancy and giving birth thing – like it is some amazing experience which is “completely natural”. That point just keeeeps coming up “it’s natural”. Like just because we are designed to give birth in this particular way and not another – this is ‘the way’ to give birth and you shouldn’t worry or question it because it’s “natural” it’s how “mother nature designed us”. Especially when you read child birth stories, the people don’t like to go into how the pain was and how they experienced themselves as they tore while giving birth – they quickly like to get to the end part of how wonderful it is to have your baby in your arms and ‘yes there’s some pain but the process is COMPLETELY NATURAL’ and ‘it’s just something you have to go through’. It’s like there’s this whole belief that because we give birth this way that it MUST be the RIGHT way – and that if there was a better way, well then nature would have designed it differently.

So no-one questions the whole process, just like no-one questions ‘periods’ because it’s aaaaalll soooo “natural” – just accept the pain and suffering and be quiet about it. This whole ‘natural’ thing is really quite stupid. You just have to watch some series like ‘Life’ and ‘Planet Earth’ to see that ‘natural’ isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. There’s animals eating each other alive, there’s bugs laying eggs in other animals and when they hatch they eat the animal alive, there’s parasites that can only survive in the eyes of other beings,... and the list goes on. There’s some really evil designs in this world, in what we call ‘natural’. Just because something is ‘natural’ does not mean it’s the best way it could have possibly been.

Coming from a Destonian background and having gone through the History of Mankind files – you can see how some stuff just has been deliberately messed with.

And no-one wants to really talk and share about the real nasty stuff that happens during pregnancy and child birth, because c’mon, this is your child that you’re talking about, you don’t want to give them the impression bringing them into this world was unpleasant! That’s just mean… So then no-one talks about it and then your whole life you’re pretty much clueless about pregnancy until it happens to you and then BAM your bubble bursts. It’s kind of like when you found out that Santa doesn’t exist – just another fantasy bubble being popped.