Journey to a New Life

 Continuing from Day 76: Sometimes it just Sucks – Part 1.

 I had another experience the other day where Cesar was quite frustrated as we were taking an evening stroll in an attempt to have him settle down more, where he was very upset with the teething pain and wouldn’t calm down. As we were walking and my sister was pushing the stroller while Cesar crying, I checked if there was anything at all we could do different in this moment that would make him more comfortable – which when going through our options, I could tell was not going to be an option, we simply had to walk through this. When I realise there was nothing we could do, I told my sister and told her that it ‘just sucks’ and asked her to also say it out loud. After she said it, she shared that she immediately felt a lot better about the situation we were walking through, and right after that – Cesar settled within himself and calmed down in the stroller in a matter of a few seconds.
This made me think about how we are never taught to express our discontent or frustrations as children. When we are very young and don’t yet know how to express ourselves properly, tantrums are quickly followed by things that will make us ‘shut up’ and stop just for the sake of having the tantrum ended. The reason or origin of the tantrum doesn’t get to be discussed.

At home and at school we are all too often pushed to follow instructions obediently and not too question things. This leaves no space for critical thinking and no space for discontent or frustrations to be expressed. We are only allowed to say good things and give praise under the guise that doing otherwise would be ‘impolite’. So at least we are aware that things aren’t perfect, but we’re not allowed to express it.

Anyway, this led me to play more with expressing frustration on Cesar’s behalf and playing with different words and sounds – and even made a swear-song on teething, accompanied with hitting on tin boxes – which Cesar enjoyed very much. And I will definitely be keeping this dimension on mind when assisting Cesar in building his vocabulary and specifying how he can express himself.