Day 28: How to Best Raise your Child: Threats, Blackmail and Bullying
I was reading another article the other day in one of the baby / parenting magazines that we got. The article was about disciplining your child through teaching it self-discipline. I thought “Ok, let’s check this out”.So then the article starts talking about how important it is to inform your child when your child is faced with particular decisions in life. With this they meant that you should always explain to your child what their choices consist of and explain the consequences of each one of those decisions. Like that, your child is able to make an informed decision and is empowered to take self-responsibility for the outflow of their actions. I was like “Oh my god, someone’s actually making sense in this magazine, let me continue reading”.
So now that they explained kind of the ‘background’ behind their ‘method’, they go on giving an example of how you should practically implement this point, where you as the parent explain the consequences of the choices your child makes. The event they are using to demonstrate their example is that of your child about to draw on the wall. So here it goes, this is how you can teach your child, common sense reasoning, self-responsibility and empower them – ready? :”If you draw on the wall” (=choice) –> “You will not get cake” (= consequence).
SERIOUSLY???
How is the existence and presence of a piece of cake – physically, intrinsically linked to the physical existence of a wall and the action of drawing on it – that makes it so that the moment you draw on the wall, you can be assured that there won’t be any cake around for you. How the hell does that work? How is that consequence? That’s not consequence, that’s you blackmailing your child and you don’t even have the guts to do it straight out – no, you do it in a way where the child will think that HE is responsible for setting into motion these events by drawing on the wall. That’s so absolutely mean!!!
I mean, explaining consequence to child in terms of the choices they make, should be explaining how if they do A, then B will happen as a direct consequence (and not one you’ve just conjured up to suit yourself), where this consequence is absolute in every way. Because obviously by the time your 20 and you draw on your wall and you put out a piece of cake on the table for yourself, and you draw on that wall and keep your eyes on the cake – you will see that it does not disappear or ‘go away’ in any way whatsoever. That’s because ‘there’s not going to be cake if you draw on the wall’ is not real consequence, it’s just your parents threatening you while upholding the illusion that you ‘have a choice’. Sure, VERY empowering.
And then we get surprised that our children to bad in school and have a hard time developing critical reasoning skills. Well obviously – I mean, if you teach them that ‘1 + 1 = banana’ (yes, that’s right ‘banana’, not even a NUMBER), how do you expect them to get stuff that is actually supposed to make sense? Did you really ‘inform’ your child when you said that ‘he will not get cake if he draws on the wall’? Did the child just learn anything about the consequences of drawing on a wall and what such decision entails within its implications? No! Because all your child knows, is that somehow, by some godly divine power that does not have to make sense – he will not get cake. He doesn’t get to learn for instance, that if you draw on a wall,that that drawing will stay on it , until you clean it up. So you either have to be okay with the drawing being on the wall forever or you got to clean it up. Then of course you also have to consider the other people living in the house with that particular wall and if they are okay with the drawing staying on their forever, so you gotta check that as well before you decide to draw on the wall, unless you know you’re going to clean it up afterwards.
Consequence would be, where if you don’t feed your pet bunny and give him clean water, that his physical body is going to deteriorate as it cannot support itself and the bunny will die. That is consequence, that is if A then B and there’s no way around it.
If you tell your child ‘no cake’ if you draw on the wall, you are in NO WAY informing your child or putting them in a ‘power position’. Your child has no freaking clue as to why he for instance should or shouldn’t draw on the wall, and he’s got no freaking clue as to how the cake magically disappears if he would draw on the wall. All you are “informing” your child about – is that it’s in the child’s best interest to ‘not do things my mommy and daddy don’t want me to do', because if I do, they will do something to me that I don’t want them to do’. But did he learn anything about drawing on walls? Nope – nothing.
So now obviously if you’re going to practice this little method over and over again, you get a child that has no common sense reasoning skills because he has been taught to accept absurd claims by his parents, and will thus be ineffective in physical reality because he has never been taught to only stick to principles that make sense like 1 + 1 = 2 and the laws of physics (which does not include cakes disappearing if you draw on a wall). On top of that, you get an obedient future citizen who will not question those in power as your mom and dad have clearly shown you that those in power positions do not have to make sense, all you gotta do is listen and do as is expected of you.
Here’s another good one, in terms of ‘how to grab your child’s attention’ when you want to explain him something: use big words. Use words, that sound big and intelligent and that they don’t understand: works every to get their attention!!!
What the hell, seriously? Play the big smarty ass adult who knows big words that you don’t? Do you know what you’re doing to your child? Do you understand that you’re trying to make them feel like dumb little shits that are inferior to you in every way just to ‘grab their attention’ and ‘make them listen’? Do you understand how this affects how they view themselves and all their future relationships in this world and how this will affect their information processing skills just because you think it’s okay to use BIG WORDS as a fear tactic – where they will forevermore feel inadequate and inferior towards words they don’t understand just because you were actually inadequate as a parent? Where in your inadequacy you resorted to manipulation as threats, black mailing your child and bullying them with big words to get them to behave how you want them to?
These type of articles should NOT be appearing in parenting magazines. This type of manipulative BS under the name of ‘good advice’ should simply be ILLEGAL as this is dangerous shit. I mean, you’re busy creating the future, busy creating the future generations of this world – and what they will know is what you teach them. And if you teach them deception, lies and abusive behaviour – then that is what you will get in return. No wonder that the world is in such a mess today – if after so many centuries of ‘evolution’ this is the parenting advice we come up with.
To get some real perspective, I suggest you rather invest in the Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race Series on EQAFE to get an understanding of how you can best assist and support yourself and your child to become the best possible version of themselves.
Day 27: Postnatal Depression & Positive Thinking
This is basically like a form of depression that sets in close after the birth of the baby which can last from weeks to years. I was wondering how it comes that so many mothers go through this, but then as I was flipping through the magazines the answer is actually quite easy. All these magazines, books, stories, movies as ‘what is out in the open’ in terms of pregnancy and babies, is all ‘Flowers and Sunshine’, where the focus is constantly on the great and amazing things of pregnancy, birth and motherhood. How great it is to feel your baby inside you, how awesome it is to buy all the pretty cute clothes and accessories, how to look after your little one’s development and how to be a fashionable ‘sexy’ mama…
All of the attention is based on some picture perfect idea of what it is like to be pregnant and being a mother – while the idea/fantasy is one thing – and reality another.
When I read magazines, half of the pages are just advertisement and then half of the articles are indirect advertisement. So there’s a whole money-making industry linked to the whole baby/motherhood point that one can indulge in from a consumerism point of view. So, to be able to have the life as depicted in the magazines, you need a lot of money. All the fancy clothes, prams, cots and baby rooms they show, are all dependent on money. Whenever people send in questions the advise is often to just ‘go to your doctor to get it checked out’. Doctors cost money. When I read through forums (and I mostly limit myself to South African ones), the main point that comes up again and again is money. Women are complaining that they have yet to start enjoying and being happy about being pregnant because they are too stressed out about money. Doctors visits cost money, scans cost money, tests cost money, classes cost money, new clothes cost money, baby things cost money. It’s really quite a pricy journey to walk through, and if you -- as so many people in South Africa – turn out to not be in a very stable financial position: then pregnancy just means a lot of stress. Both for the pregnancy and future costs of raising a child.
So to be able to have what is in the magazines as what is advertised what it ‘should be like for you to be pregnant/have a baby’ is lots of money. A lot of people don’t have lots of money – so when they compare their life to how they believe it ‘should be’ as the fantasy portrayed in magazines and movies: they get quite disappointed, because it’s not quite matching up.
Then there’s the whole ‘spiritual side’ of pregnancy and motherhood (at least that’s what I call it). This one’s all about bonding and love and having a special connection with your lil’ baby. Then comes the baby and you look for a ‘connection’ and ‘a special bond’ and nothing’s there: shit = I must be a bad mom. I mean, this whole idea that you should have some lovey dovey special wooey feeling / connection / bond with your baby from the first second you see him is so ridiculous. I mean, the baby’s going to be one ugly deformed thing that cries, shits, eats and keeps you awake all night. That’s your primary relationship with your ‘little cherub’ – it’s a completely physical thing, where every second of your life and the baby’s is about tending to his/her physical needs. So you’re not ‘feeling the love’, your baby is demanding ALL your attention, ALL the time – forcing you to be in the Physical, just like the baby is – which is something we don’t get taught to do, as all that we are being promoted to do is to be in our heads and ‘do what we want’ according to ‘how we feel’. And now there is this little person who could care less about your personal wants and preferences and needs you ALL the time, for you to give up your life for a moment.
So if you take reality as being money driven and the nature of the baby being a physical – and you place it into contrast to a world where you have all you ever wanted for your baby and you’re baby is this photoshopped cute little thing and you have all the help and assistance you could have ever wished for (like nannies and stuff so you can still have a life), and you just have this AMAZING special feeling thing between you and your baby and this is the HAPPIEST time of your life == well then obviously you’re going to get mothers who are depressed to shit because what you are selling them a reality that does not exist unless you have a lot of money, and then they go and take it personal and believe that they don’t have what is in the magazines and happy movies because they are bad, shitty mothers who are not worthy of having a baby. And then they feel even more shitty because they are feeling shitty because ‘good mother don’t feel shitty after they had a baby because this is a HAPPY time’. It’s such a fuck up.
We live in a world where no-one is taught how to take care of themselves, take care of themselves for REAL. No-one is being taught what it means to actually take care of things in physical reality, how to nurse your body, how to breathe, how to not allow emotions and feelings to dictate what you do but to use your brains as common sense reasoning. So when you have a baby which is all about being here in every moment, and in every moment tending to what needs to be done as what’s best for someone other than you == people just crash completely because it goes against everything they’re used to. We’re used to serving our self interest, doing things because we ‘feel like it’ and to not do things because ‘we don’t feel like it’. But whether we feel like it or not: that baby is hungry, that baby is going to need its nappy changed, that baby is going to keep you up all night because it’s hungry, that baby is going to need looking after for it’s own safety. Suddenly, all your self-interest is forced down the drain for you to be able to keep your baby alive and well – and it’s not the dreamy, rosy fantasy you have been sold.
And I mean, obviously you’re not going to have some ‘special bond’ with your child from the get go. You just met your baby and all he’s into are primal activities. What’s there to bond about? Drool?
So it’s no surprise that with the rise of mass media and the consumerism society that postnatal / postpartum depression started appearing more and more, as we more and more buy into an illusion and lose touch with reality. We have completely forgotten what it means to actually take care of things. That is why we are living in a world with poverty, pollution, crime, war, etc. These are all signs that indicate that we are not effective in how we are moving things in physical reality which leads to disharmony and imbalance in the world. If we truly knew how to take care of things, in a way that is an actual form of caring: we wouldn’t be faced this these ‘problems’. So, we have a race of beings, the human race – who have proved themselves to be completely inadequate in taking care of things in a physical reality sense, who go and have babies who are all about physical reality and then are surprised at ‘how hard it is’. It’s only hard because we haven’t been doing anything effectively. Because we rather do things because we ‘feel like it’/’don’t feel like it’ which then results in consequences like climate change and us running out of resources – and now all of a sudden we HAVE to take care of things, because otherwise the baby dies. So these type of conditions are probably only going to increase so long we don’t step up our level of responsibility in this world and get our act together.
Day 26: How are Babies Created?
While we are off doing whatever it is that we do during our day, our body is busy creating another body, another universe – with billions of cells and structures with various different functions that in the end all come together as one harmonious functioning unit. While all of this is happening, we are completely clueless, just going about our day while our body is taking care of EVERYTHING. I mean, how do our bodies know how to make another body? How to make a baby? I never read up on babies or how they develop in the womb until I was pregnant myself – so my body sure as hell doesn’t know because of me.
It kind of shows how insignificant our ‘human intelligence’ really is, or how puny our ‘mind power’ is – considering that our bodies are able to do everything it takes to keep us alive, transporting blood, processing food, beating our hearts – even breathing for us without our awareness. And then on top of that, it’s able to do aaall of those things and also create/develop another human body and all its processes at the same time. How do our bodies know how to do this? Were we born with hidden manuals on how to clone ourselves without knowing it? lol
And it’s fascinating because, my body is busy creating and feeding a baby, and it doesn’t need ‘my input’ to do so, it’s completely fine managing the whole thing by itself so long I keep eating, drinking and going to the loo. When I am doing something which is messing with the process, my body lets me know very clearly to make sure I get my act together so that it can do what it’s busy doing. I’m not in charge of making a baby, my body is.
If I was able to create a baby from scratch with what I have around me, that’d be pretty fucking genious. Which means that my body is a freaking genious because that’s exactly what it’s doing and it doesn’t need me as a ‘person’ for it, it just needs itself and whatever physical resources necessary to sustain itself. It’s not like I can go ‘ body, you know how we just developed the spine there, how about we change our approach and do it more like that way?’ or “how about we tinker with the DNA a bit and make some changes so it doesn’t have to deal with some of the crappy stuff that it’s getting from us, the parents?”. No, not happening lol. As the being ‘carrying’ the baby, we are completely locked out, excluded from the whole process. We give ourselves way too much credit for carrying a baby, and ‘bringing into this world a new life’, because really our bodies are doing all the work and we’re just going along for the ride. If we’d have to consciously, deliberately be involved in every step, every process that is involved in developing another human being from egg to baby – we’d probably be left with no-one getting pregnant and giving birth because we’re just that clueless.
If it wasn’t for the research that has been done into pregnancy and development of babies, I’d have no idea what was going on inside my own body. Isn’t that sad that we have to consult books and literature outside of ourselves to tell us / explain to us what is happening right inside our own bodies, right inside our own homes? And even in the research that has been done and has accumulated over time, there is still soooo much we don’t know. We’ve been around for so many years on Earth, and the one thing that we have always had is our human physical bodies – and even though we may have been to the moon, our bodies are still foreign and alien to us and we have been unable to develop any kind of relationship with ourselves as our bodies.
Our bodies are able to do great things, like creating another life form that ends up living its own individual life. And yet, there is no respect towards our bodies on Earth. We fall for consumerism where we feed ourselves and clothe ourselves according to what our mind tells us to; we fail to respect Human Rights where millions of people’s bodies suffer because we’re too obsessed with money and trying to be special; we’re destroying the very planet that gives us Life thinking we can get away with it or at least won’t have to deal with the consequences in our lifetime. We’ve got all this great shit like the Earth, Nature, Animals and our Bodies – and all we do is destroy, destroy, destroy. We have no respect, we have no dignity – we are just spoiled brats trying to maintain an illusionary reality in our minds, separate from the physical. If we were to truly be aware of our bodies, what they go through, what the Earth goes through, nature, the animals – if we could have their intelligence, processing capability and feel their pain – we’d be living a whole different life on Earth.
Isn’t that weird, that we can have bodies but yet somehow not be them? Doesn’t it make you wonder about our design?
For all these type of questions you ever had and SO MUCH MORE – check out the material on Eqafe.com.
It’ll blow your mind right out of your body.
Day 25: What have we Done?
So I started reading Howard Zinn’s ‘A People’s History of the United States’ and was in tears after a few pages lol. I mean, this is not the heroic / fairy tailed version of history as we get taught in school, where only those things are shared to put the Human Race in a ‘good light’. Sure, we had some wars ‘here and there’ and maybe some genocides in the run but let’s not dwell on those ‘mistakes’ and 
So I was busy reading the book, blown away by the horror of our nature like I was busy watching the most gruesome scary movie ever – and then I realised, oh crap – I got a baby coming into this world and at some stage he/she is going to have to learn about history. How am I supposed to explain this stuff? There’s no excuse, no justification, no ‘explanation’ to how we’ve behaved. For a species granted with the gift of ‘reasoning’, we seem to not have done much with it – except for using it to come up with clever excuses as to why it is okay to abuse and exploit others.
What do we have to show for? Thousands upon thousands of years of abuse – and so far, a future which seems to provide the same story line. We are a sad bunch.
This is not a world fit for children, this is a world of shame! And the worst part is, that for all those years of having screwed things over – we haven’t learnt a thing. We haven’t come up with proper solutions that actually take care of major problems like poverty and starvation. Sure, we have this nice document where on paper we all have these Human Rights – but these are not being protected in any real way. Instead of this being the headline every single day in the news, we rather distract ourselves with gossip and the newest gadget and scandal of the day.
Let’s change our legacy, let us put into place some REAL Solutions we can stop being a complete disappointment for the children to come.
Check out the Equal Money Website, Check out the Declaration of Human Rights as per the Equal Life Foundation. It’s time to write a different story.
Day 24: The Values we Preach vs. the Values we Live - #ThingsIWillTeachMyChild
According to the article, most people want their children to become ‘assets to humanity’ and teach them values such as respect, care, accountability, compassion, devotion, honesty, love, tolerance, understanding, … and so the list continues. If people’s parenting techniques, methods and way of Living these values was in any way effective, we’d be living in a completely different world!
When we look at the news, our environment, our friends, family – even our own inner reality as our thoughts, feelings and emotions – do we see these values/virtues reflected anywhere?
No
These are not the values we are living by, these are not the values which characterize humanity and our interaction towards each other, animals and nature.
I have a news page open right now, and what ‘values’ do I see?
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Looks like we as humanity, as Parents have failed 100% in all ways possible in teaching our children as the future of this world any kind of Values that would make us / our children ‘Assets to Humanity’.
Obviously, we are missing out on a great deal of information about parenting and the developmental stages we all go through as a child, even at the stage of the seed, embryo and fetus in the womb – and how we actually learn in this world and where our behavior comes from.
I strongly suggest for anyone interested in Parenting and Child Development to check out the following blogs on the Creation’s Journey to Life blog, which is currently investigating the Developmental Stages of the Consciousness of an Unborn Child – as well as the EQAFE interviews below, which specifically pertain to the self-education of ourselves as Human Beings and the mechanics of the Quantum Mind and Quantum Physical which play a Major Role in our Development as Human Beings, and can thus use this information to our benefit to Perfect our Parenting, both for ourselves and our children.
Creation’s Journey to Life – Consciousness Development Research Blogs
Day 383: Child Development in the Womb Research
Day 385: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research – Week 14 (Part One)
Day 386: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research – Week 14 (Part Two)
Day 407: Preparing the Fetus for Paranoia – Part One
Day 408: Preparing the Fetus for Paranoia – Part Two
EQAFE’s Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race Series
Other Blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life Relevant to Parenting
Day 23: How to Effectively Brainwash your Child
What Do You Value?
There are ways to improve the chances of raising adults who share your outlook on life
The article first sets out to explain the importance of getting the ‘values of your choosing’ integrated within the first 7 years of the child. The reason why they believe that it is important to ‘get them’ in the first 7 years, is because apparently the child within those first seven years, will simply perceive everything which happens in the home environment as ‘normal’, and will accept whatever it perceives without questioning. Only later do they start questioning things, and then it becomes more difficult for the parents to get the child to absorb the values they want the child to internalize. Within this, fascinatingly, they are implying that we should indoctrinate our children with our values while ‘they aren’t yet able to think critically’. This in itself should raise a few flags about what we value and why we value things – because what the article seems to be saying is that it is hard to teach a child values, when these values don’t make sense (so get them while they can’t see it!!!)
Although the article does not wish to prescribe which values a parent should or should not pursue – as this is one of those ‘sacred/holy/protected free choice’-areas – it assumes that all parents wish their children to grow up to be fulfilled and to be ‘assets to humanity’. It then lays out some ‘tips’ on how to best ‘control your child’ through things like ‘Inductive Control’-style Parenting – where you utilize reasoning and discussion to control your child. The point of this style, is to basically reason with your child and get them to a point of understanding. Yet, what is quirky about this, is that it is still meant to ‘control’ your child. Wouldn’t one rather discuss and talk with your child from a starting point of empowering the child in the ways of common sense? Rather than utilizing reason and logic as a means of control, where all you care about is in essence to ‘keep your child in check’. While it all sounds ‘nice’ because you are treating your child as a ‘rational being’, the Inductive Control Style parenting basically comes down to your skills of persuasion and ability to convince your child of your righteousness, rather than looking together at how and why something is a common sensical thing to do, and to allow the child to give actual input which means that one as a parent has to be able to re-consider and re-evaluate one’s values or one’s living application of values if need to.
Another tip, which will come to no surprise, is that of a Reward system. Instead of asking your child to do something directly, or explaining them why something needs to be done directly – present a reward at the end of your sentence. Don’t just say: clean up after yourself – rather say: clean up after yourself so we can go outside and play. The child won’t even know what is actually happening, but somehow he/she will be less resistant! So within this section of the article, they are basically laying out all of the subtle ways of manipulation you can get your child to do something, where you teach yourself to respond to positive rewards rather than common sense reasoning. What is not considered within this article, is that this method in itself envelopes a value system. Though applying this method, one is actually indicating to one’s child that you as a parent aren’t too concerned with the child’s ability to understand things and act in a way that is best for all, but that you value them doing what they are told, and that they should value doing what they are being told so they can get a reward at the end of the day. This itself, is completely incompatible with teaching your child actual values and principles to live by, because the very method of presenting rewards / positive enforcement – takes away the focus from the common sense, the reason, the logic as what a particular value / principle stands for – and instead moves the focus to how one experiences oneself, and that one should act on how one ‘feels’ rather than acting on that which makes sense as the principles/values one decided to live by.
The last tip mentioned, is to be the example, and to treat everyone around you as how you would like your child to end up treating them. This is the trickiest part, because it soon becomes clear that parents have no real focus and no real self-discipline within living and applying the values they want to promote to their children – and in the end just end up being hypocrites with no credibility left. Yet, this point is emphasized to be ‘the key’. So long you are the example, and you are real about it – your child will follow your example. This is then also the problem parents face, because one is merely acting in particular way in the hope that the child will learn from this ‘one event’, where the parent is being mindful about caring for others, while 99% of the time while the parent is not deliberately spending time on indoctrinating values – the real nature of the parent as what the parent actually lives by is revealed – and thus, this is what the children end up following. It’s those moments where you’re not paying attention and you’re lying to someone as to why you can’t do something and your child just has to witness this for a second and understands that it’s okay to lie, deceive and manipulate – even to those closest to you.
To be continued
Day 22: The Developmental Stages of the Fetus: Development Stages of Self
Day 383: Child Development in the Womb Research
Day 385: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research – Week 14 (Part One)
So while listening to the conversations Bernard and the Fetus have (which will be published on Creation's Journey to Life, as well as subsequent discussions that will be taking place) -- it is like going back in time and starting from point zero. And as the baby develops and walks its own process, I walk with and use this opportunity to walk my own creation process back in time.
So far we had two sit downs, where one was with the Fetus present in the Portal, sharing some of its experiences and perspectives. I must say, the systems/consciousness really don't not waste any time -- the amount of information and data that is already integrated which all happens automatically is really vast. We humans really have no idea what Pregnancy and the creation of a being, as how people currently exist in the world involves. We really don't know anything!
So the journey ahead will be quite something to walk -- there's a lot of points to consider and a lot of work ahead, but I am glad for this opportunity and grateful for the Support that is available to me for me to be able to walk this through.
I would definitely suggest everyone to keep track of the blogs that will be published on Creation's Journey to Life in relation to the Fetal Development Research -- not only for those who have children or plan to have children -- but for everyone to learn about how we came about and accepted the Mind as Limitation.
Day 21: 11 Weeks Update
So while I am feeling better in that area, I have now started noticing that I am getting more uncomfortable in sitting and lying positions. If I am in a particular position for a while my joints start hurting and I have to regularly put myself in a different position until that one is uncomfortable and then move to the next.
I may also possibly be more hungry lol.
I have been hypermobile my whole life, where my joints are more flexible than 'normal', which when I was a kid and still growing and during my teenage years as well, would give me similar discomfort and I would injure my fairly easily. While I haven't injured myself, the discomfort is very familiar but at least I know I can deal with that because I've done so before lol.
(During pregnancy your body starts producing a hormone 'relaxin' which makes all your joints and ligaments 'more loose' in preparation of giving birth)
With the nausea disappearing I am also finding myself to being able to stay awake for longer and not taking so many naps anymore. This is quite handy because I have exams coming my way and need all the time I can use.
We've in the meantime also checked out a hospital a lot of people recommended and were quite satisfied when we went to visit it.
Now that I am in my exam period here, the points I am facing are mostly fear and stress in relation to the exams and pregnancy points are not so dominant at the moment. I already had two exam nightmares in a row, waking up in a sweat in my bed in the morning. I'll see how it goes tonight lol.
So I will probably take on this exam point in my Leila's Journey to Life blog while my focus is shifted to studying.
Day 20: Is Complete Self-Change Possible? (Part Four)
When and as I see myself access the belief that I need a reason outside of myself to move me to change -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that as long as I accept and allowed myself to be the one that is moved instead of being the mover I will always be in a position of dependency where something or someone else will have power over me because I have given my power away. I commit myself to take my power back and move me for me from a starting point of self-respect and self-value
When and as I see myself access the belief that 'I am all that I can ever be' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am accepting and allowing myself to use this as an excuse to stop moving and pushing and so I commit myself to remind myself of those moments/instances where I believed I could not change/overcome a point but did anyway -- and remind myself that it only takes one point of change to show that change is possible
When and as I see myself access the belief that I can't change and so shouldn't bother trying -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that within this I am really just saying 'I don't want to change' but am dressing it up in a more 'palatable' way for myself. I commit myself to stop the charade and identify what point(s) of resistance I am facing causing me to come up with stories as to not face them and commit myself to work through them
When and as I see myself believing that I am stuck on a point and that I can't change / push / move through this -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am making up excuses as to why I shouldn't even try changing and so I commit myself to stop and make sure that I am using all the tools available to me to assist and support myself within moving through a difficult point
Day 19: Is Complete Self-Change Possible? (Part Three)
When and as I see myself looking at particular points/limitations in my reality and think that I am unable too handle them / that they are too big / too integrated / too far gone -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that these points/limitations did not just 'happen' to me, but that a process of creation and participation on my part took place in order to manifest these points/limitations within myself /my reality thus I commit myself to acknowledge my that if I can put them in place, I can remove them as well -- equal and one -- and I commit myself to the removal of self -limitations until it is done
When and as I see myself looking at points within myself which I deem 'too big to face' and tell myself that 'Í will just have to manage' or 'what is the point / why bother' where there is a form of giving up on myself -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am playing the game of 'giving up before I have even started' where I do not even give myself the chance/opportunity to work through a point so that I do not have to face/walk the process of undoing the point and thus not face any stumbling blocks on the way where I may respond in disappointment/self-judgment/failure and thus rather 'give up right away'. I commit myself to trust myself and have the faith to walk any point to completion no matter how impossible it may seem
When and as I see myself access the belief that there are 'limits to change' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this is merely a handy self-sabotage line that permits me to justify why I am not going my damnest best to push myself for complete and total self-change - and leave me to wallow within self-limitation. I commit myself to stop right then and there and to re-establish my self-commitment and self-motivation within the determination and trust that I can do this
Day 18: Is Complete Self-Change Possible? (Part Two)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved to change myself for the sake of another -- and within this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to have moved myself for the sake of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been okay with my own self-limitation -- where I did not want to be bothered to change for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to maintain my own self-limitation because I 'didn't see a reason why'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have set myself up to require a reason outside myself for me to move for change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have conditionalized change within needing/requiring/wanting a reason outside of myself to move me to change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made 'myself' an insufficient reason for change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-change for the sake of self is not worth it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am all that I can ever be
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is no point in trying to change myself within believing that 'it's not going to work out anyway'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given in to the belief that I can't change so I shouldn't bother trying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all I'll ever be is fear
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is too much and too big to transcend
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to hold myself back and truly test the limits of change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have made the fullest use of the tools available to myself in order to truly test whether total and complete change is possible and within this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to have used all the tools available to me to its fullest to eradicate all fear within and as me as an act of self-love and self-appreciation
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